Today I received the results of my second endometrial biopsy. Again, they have come back as pre-receptive. And in addition to that, a sample from my biopsy was sent in for separate testing, and the results came back post-receptive.
What does this mean? NO ONE KNOWS. My doctor has said he has never seen a case like this, and neither has any doctor at my clinic. He will be holding a special conference call with a number of doctors to discuss the options for me, but basically, it’s not looking good.
I am to spend the next few months getting my BMI in check (read: get skinny) and “we’ll see” in February.
My case seems to be one of a kind. Just like, apparently, my son is. The chances of giving him a sibling are slipping further and further away from us, and every time I think of him, I wonder how the heck he exists? How did he defy these odds? How did he make it, when modern science continues to crap on us?
I’ve always been grateful for him. Going through infertility and coming out the other end with a baby: it feels like a gift every day. But now… today… I can appreciate how truly special he is. He truly is a miracle… and it’s starting to look like he may be our only miracle.
Hearing your doctor say that you probably need to look into gestational carriers is heartbreaking. It really never seemed like it was something we would have to do. And I’m not sure it’s something we want to do. I just don’t know where our hard line is anymore, and I guess I need a few days/weeks to figure that out.
For now, me and my one of a kind uterus and my one of a kind son and my amazing Husband will have to find a way to enjoy these holidays amidst this heartbreak.