So after yesterday’s ultrasound, I am bursting at the seams with a newfound pregnancy confidence I have never had before. I expect this to only last a few days, but while it’s here, I’m making bold decisions I was too timid and nervous to make before.
Such as: when to tell people! As per the “rule”, Husband and I decided to wait until we’ve cleared the first trimester. The only people who know are my brothers and two close friends. Our parents don’t know.
Why? Because after my first miscarriage, my mother ignorantly stated multiple times that maybe I was never pregnant at all… you know, when she was pregnant, she suffered from morning sickness, so if I didn’t have any morning sickness, maybe it was a false positive accompanied by a very delayed period?
Thanks mom.
Needless to say, I never told her about my second pregnancy or miscarriage because that’s not the kind of support that I need during a rough time.
(as you can tell, I have some mom issues)
Husband’s parents don’t live in our province, so it is easy to hide the news from them.
Yesterday, I made our first move towards accepting Peanut into our lives by setting in motion the plan to tell our parents. What’s the plan, you ask?
Well, Husband’s parents love puzzles, so we decided TWO YEARS AGO a cute way to tell them would be to have our ultrasound photo turned into a puzzle. Yesterday, I ordered the puzzles – one for each set of parents.
The puzzles take two weeks to make, which will put us in week 11. For Husband’s parents, we’ll just sit on it for a week or two before mailing it off to them, ensuring everything is safe and sound and nestled in my uterus before placing the stamps.
My parents on the other hand dislike non-Indian-related hobbies, so puzzle-solving is not something they would ever do. But because my mom has been relatively unsupportive throughout the past two years (stating repeatedly that she’d really love a grandchild who lives in the same city as her even though she knows we’ve been actively trying to conceive, commenting on how strange it is that it is taking us so long to get pregnant because she got pregnant by accident – twice!, and not really asking how the treatments were going or even how I was doing with everything), we thought it would be funny to give them a puzzle as well.
Why? Because we know they won’t touch it. We can basically predict that they won’t even open it until we forced them to. (Our christmas gift to them from 3 years ago is still sitting in a pile of hoarded goods, untouched.)
I can picture them now – sitting beside the big clue that they’re going to be grandparents again, but not even knowing it. I can literally hear my mom asking the question she asks everytime we speak – “So, has anything happened yet?” (her version of ‘are you pregnant yet?) – with the unopened puzzle sitting on the table next to her.
Then, at the end of the first trimester, we’ll quiz them “so… did you solve the puzzle we gave you?”
When they say no, we’ll let them know that they’ve really missed out on a big surprise. And then we’ll tell them we’re pregnant. And then we’ll all have a chuckle that they could have known weeks ago.
This way, both sets of parents find out at the same time, but I get to have a little snarky satisfaction and payback for my mom’s insensitivity.
Mean? I don’t really think so. It’s all in good fun. In the end, we’re excited to tell our parents, but want to have a little fun with it at the same time.
This has been the most un-fun two-year project EVER, so we need to have ourselves a good laugh at some point.
thebabymakingblog 